올리비아에 대하여| The One with Kenny - The Unspoken Love of a Father: Episode 30 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Kenny

Still on the daddy issue (I know! But hear me out on this one). This week’s episode started with an email I received from one of my ardent listeners. It was also the first official fan mail I got!:

Dear Mo:

Everyone believes fathers should be strong and just provide financially while the mothers raise the children. I am a father of a 3-year-old daughter with a rare medical condition (which has resulted in massive learning/developmental delays). My wife and I are very hands-on in raising our daughter. What I've experienced in the three years of fatherhood is that the mothers get more support than fathers. I'm Nigerian born but been living in the UK for the last eight years. Do you have any guests who can talk on the topic - fathers and support for them?

The contents of the email tugged at my heartstrings. After much reflection on the choice of guest, I decided to ask Mr. Kenny if he wouldn’t mind doing the honors as I could not think of any other perfect guest to do justice to such an important and rarely discussed topic.

In this episode, you will hear about the challenges, societal expectations, and triumphs of raising a child with special needs. You will also hear tips on how to build and foster support for those with special needs, especially for parents and caregivers. More importantly, you will hear about a father’s love; the kind that is unspoken but constant, affirming, assuring, and ever-giving.

비욘세 최고 팬| The One with Dr. Bamgbade - On being Nigerian-American and Mental Health Research in US Blacks: Episode 27 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Dr. Bamgbade

For this episode, we need to do 100 cartwheels, throw some confetti, and roll out the red carpet, because it features the very Queen in all of her splendid glory! Here’s introducing Dr. Benita Bamgbade, aka BeNyoncé (get it?) Born to first-generation Nigerian immigrants, growing up in H-town (Houston), Benita grew up very conscious about her heritage, especially at an era when it was uncool to be African (pre-Wakanda times). In this episode, we talked about all these and what it has been like moving to Beantown (aka Boston) from Texas. We also explored life as a new assistant professor of pharmacy and how dating or making friends in your 30s can be Herculean tasks.

PS: She does research on mental health and designed an intervention recently on the health-seeking behaviors between Blacks and Whites in the US. She loves Jesus and Beyoncé! Also, we may have been well oiled and highly spirited when we taped this episode #redredwine #invinoveritas

Fun facts about Dr. Bamgbade:

She is so extra like me, and we connect on a deeper, spiritual level with that. We work well together and always come up with the most extra, lofty ideas, haha!
For her research on mental health, she has won two back-to-back awards at the American Pharmacists Association (APhA) meetings. #gogirl
She is the first rapper on the show.
We both love and miss #HEB. If you never lived in North and Central Texas, you won’t understand the struggles #lesigh

Takeaway Points:

Significantly higher proportion (81%) of young Black adults living with depression in the US do not seek help when compared to Whites.
Don’t get too bogged down about what your friends and family would think. The people you are worried about care about you. If you are living with depression and not living your best self, go get help. It gets better when you get help.
So people don’t like you? Oh well! You will be alright, and they will be alright too.
We cannot be our jobs; there’s gotta be more to life. Find your ‘more.’

Notable Quotes:

Being Nigerian now is super cool, but it was not cool growing up from elementary school till the beginning of high school. Being African was not cool, but now everyone is like ‘Wakanda Forever.’ Like no! You used to make fun of me; this is not for you. Go sit down or apologize or do both.”

“Being Nigerian and American to me means being the best of both worlds. I love being Nigerian; I thank God that I am Nigerian, I love the culture. My American side too has its merits and having a ground foundation on both sides are great. The downside is not being fully grounded on either side.”

“Being a professor is like graduate school on crack. The pressure is so much more now on a tenure clock.”

Recommended song:

" Red Red Wine" – UB40 (1983)

I woke up like this,

모 /Mo!/

내 일본 섬에서| The One with Mai - On Multiculturalism and Being Okinawan-American: Episode 26 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Mai

Born to an Okinawan mom and an American dad, thus growing up bi-racial in a multi-cultural home meant Mai had to ask tough questions from the start about identity, equality, community, friendships and the like. An aspiring graphic designer and a secretive poet, she uses the arts to continue the journey of those questions, through her multi-cultural marriage, and the community around her. A fighter for love to be in action in all places; who loves hearing the stories of those around her in hopes to build better bridges in all places and with all people. Mai also enjoys the simple pleasures of puppies, coffee, food of all kinds, and summer activities.

In this episode, we talked about her cultural heritage and tips on how to navigate multiculturalism in language, marriage, and expressions.

PS: Okinawan-Japanese is the equivalent of Hawaiian-American; thus, Mai is ethnically Okinawan. Also, it would mean a lot to Mai if you went to see 'Crazy Rich Asians;' according to her "your ticket purchase helps affirm the industry that people want to see diverse leads."

Fun facts about Mai:

Her parents met in Japan when dad was in the US Airforce.
If she speaks too much in one language, her brain gets tired. So, she needs a fine balance of people with whom she can speak English and Japanese.
She spent a lot of time in Japan when growing up. So much so that when she moved back to the US, she was classified as an international student and had to take ESL (English as a second language) classes.

Takeaway Points:

Mai had two very good questions for me as a Nigerian about Nigerians.
Your insight as a multicultural person is always needed and valuable.
Be proud of your heritage.

Notable Quotes from Mai:

“I find the Japanese culture at times fascinating because even though it is a communal society, there is so much pressure on the individual to succeed which sometimes creates a painful tension.”

"In America, it is harder to build quality friendships because it is an individualistic society. Thus, self-love here, ironically, is to schedule spontaneous activities to make sure I spend quality time with my friends."

“Being married to a Chinese-American, we both have to learn how to navigate this space of multiculturalness we share. We both have parallel lives of being able to relate on how it feels to navigate multiple cultures and not really feeling like we belong to anyone in particular.”

Recommended song:

"Say Anything" - X-Japan (1991) [Mo says: "The arrangement of the musical instruments reminds me of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody"]

Jya-ne,

モ /Mo!/

자기 용서를위한 시간| The One with Theresa - Childhood, Interrupted : Episode 22 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Theresa

Warning: This episode contains messages that might be disturbing to some listeners – especially those who have experienced one form of child sexual abuse or the other.

This was easily the most difficult episode I have worked on this podcast. The prevalence of child sexual abuse is one that cannot be ignored (especially in a country like Nigeria with its burgeoning population and lax rules). Why? Because abused children grow up to become adults who may suffer from mental health issues ranging from substance abuse, personality disorders, conflict in romantic or interpersonal relationships, to eating disorders. Of all the things that can be done to you, rape is probably one of the worse because it is your body and you have to carry it along for the rest of your life; there is no escaping from it. Even when you try to physically escape from it, the body (and brain) always keep the score.

In this episode, I discussed these issues at length with a longtime friend and a lawyer – Theresa Odigie. As an author, Theresa uses her words to rescue people from grief, insecurities, or anything that poses as a stronghold in one's life. Follow her on Instagram as Theresa.odigie.

우리 사이의 역사| The One with Andrea - The Spanish-speaking Southern Belle: Episode 15 (2018)

Hola amigos! Can you say Spanish-speaking Southern Belle three times without blabbing? I didn’t think so. Also, would you ever consider going back to school to learn a new language to help the people you serve? In this episode, I explored Andrea’s story and her love for the Spanish language, history, and travels. I also talked a bit about growing up in Nigeria during the restrictive, military regime. Andrea hopes to visit Ghana first, and I gave her the best tip ever – avoid the jollof rice there :-D.

We also explored her relationship with Africans and what she thinks of us. I am also seeking business partners for what I think would be a very profitable business for Africans and African Americans. It has to do with cultural exchange. Email me on talktomo@mosibyl.com, if interested.

PS: I spoke a bit of Spanish as well.

Fun facts about Andrea:

She is wanderlust like me and has visited six countries (one of which was Cuba #jealous).
She holds two bachelor’s degree.
She loves the Lord.

Takeaway points:

If you are in Ohio, consider getting the #Skyline chili.
Tips on how to avoid getting deleted as a Facebook friend.
Teach African-Americans about the African culture.
Africans and African-Americans need to learn to be more culturally patient with one another.
Why we need to visit Cuba ASAP

Con amor de,

모 /Mo/

Mo SibylJune 21, 2018Podcast, Culture, Faith, Ancestry, Ghana, Africa, African-American, Motherland, Nigeria, Spanish, Connection, Lagos, Skyline, Zimbabwe Comment

사랑하는 아버님께서| The One with Dad - Daddy, Dearest: Episode 14 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Happily Presents:

This is probably the most important podcast episode I have done yet. For those who might not know, I had a somewhat turbulent relationship with my father based on how I felt he was like to me as a kid. As a result, we never really talked and there was a distance between us.

In this episode, I present to you the man who is perhaps one of the most important people to Mo! This episode also happens to be the lengthiest conversation I have ever had with my dad and I feel very honored to share this intimate side of me with you.

PS: The history is very strong with this episode.

PPS: Perhaps the most disappointing thing about dad is his chronic unending love for Arsenal

Takeaway points:

Remind your parents to get their yearly health checkup done.
The path to reconciliation might be a difficult process but it is often worth the troubles.

Recommended Song:

Daddy's Home (feat. Hailey Kiteley) by Travis Greene

Well, enjoy then. And Happy Father’s Day, I guess.

Love,

모 /Mo/

여자의 일생| The One with Ada - The Life of a Woman: Episode 12 (2018)

Here’s introducing my friend, Ada – one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met, who served in the US military. We explored her story from growing up in Nigeria, moving to the US, being drafted into the army, getting married, surviving an eventful divorce, raising multicultural kids, and life as a single mom.

We explored divorce in a cultural context (stigma, shame, losing friends, etc.) and what we can do to support divorcees around us (and it is not by choosing sides or totally avoiding them like a plague). We also talked about PTSD, mental health, and ways to self-care - post-divorce.

Outro-ish Song: *Don’t Let Us Get Sick* by Pat Guadagno; the original song was by Warren Zevon

Fun fact about Ada: She backpacked across Europe.

PS: To all the veterans like Ada, thank you for your service.

TL; DL:

How to Thrive after a Divorce:

Choose your battles
Stay alive
Do not rush into any kind of relationship (except with Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream and chocolates, of course :-D)
Take your time to open up
Be vulnerable but not enough to allow reopening of old, healed wounds
Don’t waste yesterday’s tears on today

Mo SibylJune 7, 2018Podcast, Culture, Igbo, US-Veteran, Army, Divorce, Mental-Health, Self-care, PTSD, PPD, Mom, Nigeria, US Comments

내 청소년| The One with Adenike - The Nigerian Youth: Episode 8 (2018)

Adenike had this to say about voting:

“More than half of those who voted for the over 170 million votes for BBN are not registered to vote in the next presidential election. Nigerians don’t even know the importance of voting and I understand that we say “oh, well my vote might not count,” that is the lie we have been telling ourselves. When it is going to count, no one is going to tell you. And until you start doing your own part, you cannot even complain of not getting the best infrastructure. It is your least civic duty. Even though you didn’t vote, by not voting, you voted for the winner.”